The old me...

It's amazing to have your eyes opened and realize just how much you've changed over the years. Sometimes we change in order to please other people or in order to fit in. I hadn't realized how much of "me" I had covered up until this year. I hadn't known that I had gotten rid of so much of the "old me."

Simple things like going to the mountains, spending time walking in the woods, loving the countryside, visiting family and friends even, had all drifted away. In place became a person who was not only just trying to get by, but someone who was handling all of the burdens of life on her own that those simple things were piled beneath a load of life's laundry. I've tried time and time again to fit in with a certain crowd that I will never fit in with. I've changed everything from the way I talk, dress, and behave in order to please certain people, but the strained relationships always stay the same. I've accepted that. But isn't there so much more to life?

There are people out there who would like me for me. People who wouldn't judge me because I cannot work a normal job. And there are especially people who wouldn't ignore me.

I'm not worthy of being ignored. What I am worthy of is the chance at life and love. Whatever it takes I know I will make it happen. We're only on this earth for a little while. I can't live my life hiding from pain or being smothered by ignorance. I'd rather live happily for the rest of my life. Even if you have to go through a little hell in order to get to Heaven, it's worth it.